


It Could Have Been Worse

by kumiko12a



Category: Bleach
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Established Relationship, M/M, grimmjow doesn't understand why he can't press the red button, ichi has a potty mouth, ichigo's poor face, interrupted siri conversation, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-26 07:15:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20926241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumiko12a/pseuds/kumiko12a
Summary: Who knew asking Siri a question would lead to a broken nose and a cackling arrancar?





	It Could Have Been Worse

It could have been worse. Much worse.

“Oi Kurosaki, what's this thing?” Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, resident asshole arrancar, asked his boyfriend of 3 months while holding up a T-shirt cannon. Ichigo lifted his head from where he had been hunched over, helping prepare banners for Urahara's upcoming candy sale. “It's a t-shirt cannon. People use them at concerts and stuff.” The arrancar nodded, turning to cylindrical device over in his hands. “How does it work?” Ichigo didn't bother looking up again, explaining that you press a button and a t-shirt comes flying out, usually with a 'fwoop' sound. Grimmjow snorted as Ichigo made the appropriate sound effect for the machine. “Don't touch it. Urahara will be pissed if you break it.” He muttered to Grimmjow, concentrating on his work once more. He knew Urahara wanted the banners to be perfect. And since neither Rukia nor Renji were capable of anything remotely resembling artistic talent, it had been left up to him. He shuddered at what the strange man would do if they weren't exactly the way he wanted them. He did NOT want to be used as a guinea pig for an invention again. The last time had left him with green hair and a weirdly sweet aftertaste in his mouth for weeks. Grimmjow lifted an eyebrow, tossing the cannon from hand to hand in boredom. “Why not? Hey what does the red button do if I press it?” the blonde didn't answer him though, absorbed in his work. Now, no one ever said that Grimm was the brightest crayon in the box. More often than not, he just did whatever he wanted and didn't think of the consequences. This was one of those times.

Ichigo was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of a door slamming open somewhere in the shop. “Shit!” he hissed as he knocked over a small tin of paint onto the canvas he'd been working on. He sighed forcefully and scrubbed his hand against his forehead, glaring at the canvas as if it was at fault for the ink stain slowly spreading across the top. He had to figure out a way to fix the top of the banner, or he'd have to redo the whole thing. He pulled his phone over, tapping the screen to life. “Hey Siri, how I do fix...” he didn't have time to finish his sentence as he heard the tell-tale sound of the t-shirt cannon being fired. He looked up just in time to catch the ejected roll of t-shirt, right in the middle of his face. “Fuck!” To anyone watching, it would have been a comical scene. As the t-shirt roll hit Ichigo in the face, his arms shot out to the side, windmilling to try to keep his balance. But alas, it was all for naught. He squawked as he felt the chair tip back, dumping him onto the hardwood floor behind him. Ichigo could feel the blood dripping down over his top lip. As soon as Grimmjow realized what he'd done, he hastily put the machine down and stepped away from it. He was smart enough to know that Ichigo would kill him if he realized what had happened. Honestly, he had just wanted to see what the red button did, and Ichigo had been ignoring him. Dark eyes glared murderously at the seemingly innocent blue-haired menace, who was definitely trying to pretend he hadn't been playing with the cannon and accidentally shot his boyfriend in the face with the rolled up piece of fabric. He was also trying very hard not to laugh at the same fact. 

Try as he might though, Grimmjow couldn't hold back his laughter. He started to cackle madly, the fact that Ichigo was close to resembling a raccoon driving him on. “You fuck! What the hell were you doing?! I said not to fucking touch it!” The blonde stood and lunged for the cackling arrancar, pulling his arm back to repay him for the broken nose he'd inadvertently given his boyfriend. Grimmjow's answering grin was absolutely feral as he caught the punch aimed at his face. “Oh come on Ichi, if it had been me, you'd have been laughing up a storm too.” Ichigo attempted to snort at him, not wanting to admit that it was true, but winced as pain flashed across his face at the action. Blue eyebrows drew together in concern as he really looked at his boyfriend. “Shit, Ichi I'm sorry. You should probably go home and get your dad to look at that.” Grimmjow slid his thumb over the younger's cheek, partly to apologize and partly to comfort him. Ichigo touched the area around his nose carefully, scowling slightly at the pain. It seemed the cannon had broken the nasal bone, but the zygomatic bones and orbital plates were alright. Ichigo looked up into blue eyes and glared. “You broke my nose.” he stated, his voice coming out nasally, like someone had plugged his nose while he was talking. The blue-haired man flinched, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. “You get to explain to Urahara why the banners for his sale aren't finished. And why there's blood all over his floor.” The older of the two blinked a couple times before it registered. “Wait, where are you going?” he asked, making to follow Ichigo out of the room. “No, you're going to stay here and clean up this mess while I go make sure you didn't break anything else in my face.” He turned on his heel, closing the door firmly behind him and leaving the arrancar to clean up. Grimmjow grumbled to himself as he set about wiping the blood up the floor, really though he was just smearing it around on the ground. 

The door to the room opened again, causing Grimmjow to pause in what he was doing, speaking as he lifted his head. “Ichi, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to...” he broke off as he noticed it was not in fact Ichigo standing in the doorway, but Urahara Kisuke. “My, my. What happened in here I wonder?” He asked, his fan covering the smirk he was wearing on his lips. “Grimmjow-san, why is there blood all over my floor? Have you and Ichigo-kun been fighting?” He tilted his head, waiting for an explanation from the scowling arrancar kneeling on his floor surrounded by smeared blood. “I hit Ichigo in the face with the t-shirt cannon and he made me stay here and clean up the mess.” he said petulantly, his lips falling into a pout as he realized he'd been chastised and left behind like a child. “Maybe if humans weren't so fragile, he wouldn't be so butthurt about a little broken nose.” he muttered under his breath, rubbing at the floor harder than necessary. “Oh Grimmjow-san, you really must stop forgetting you can't be so rough with him in his human form. It's not as durable as his soul form. Do I really need to remind you what happened when you first started dating each other?” the arrancar flushed bright red at the reminder and shook his head, gaze remaining on the floor. “Good, then I'll leave you to your work. Also don't forget that banner needs to be finished by tonight~!” the man said, his voice lifting into a sing-song quality at the end as he left the room. “Stupid fragile humans.”

**Author's Note:**

> One shot for a silly idea. Comments always welcome. Try to keep them helpful if you're going to criticise though. First foray into Bleach and Grimmichi.


End file.
